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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say.
It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened.
“Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!”
Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet.
“Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.”
My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me.
“Don’t think so.”
I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible.
“Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.”
I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level.
“Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.”
“You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.”
It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick.
“Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.”
My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged.
“Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled.
I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on.
“Parker? Are you talking to me?”
“Well I’m not talking to myself.”
I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned.
“This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.”
“Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …”
“You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously.
“Should you want I bow wow?”
“Holy cow! Parker you are talking.”
“Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.”
I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued.
“I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“Afraid not.”
Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own.
“Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?”
“Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.”
“You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?”
“Four hundred.”
“Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.”
“Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?”
“Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.”
“That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?”
“Yeah.”
“She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.”
“You are kidding me?”
“She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.”
“Why?”
“Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.”
“You know this from the smell of possum poop?”
“Excrement.”
“Whatever.”
“Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?”
“Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …”
“Penis?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Jealous are we?”
“Well, it’s just that …”
“It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.”
“No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.”
“No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.”
“You done? Can I get to my concern?”
“Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?”
“You mean global warming?”
“It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.”
“Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.”
“We don’t know dramatic.”
“Well give me examples of what you mean.”
“First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.”
“I don’t smell a thing.”
“Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.”
“Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?”
“We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.”
“ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?”
“Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.”
“Oh yeah, like what else?”
“Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.”
“What?”
“You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized.
An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.”
“Can you give me a for instance?”
“God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.”
“This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.”
“In a nut shell, yeah.”
It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping.
“That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.”
“What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically.
“You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.”
“Then what, already?” I asked impatiently.
“You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.”
“Ummm … yeah I guess.”
“Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!”
“All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.”
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”
“So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.”
“It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking.
“Parker?”
Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket.
“Parker … are you done? Is that it?”
He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep.
“Parker … just like that?”
He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined.
“Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.”
I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days.
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HPV (Human Pappiloma virus) or Wart virus.
Warts are caused by a microscopic virus particle that infects the skin. Known as the Human Papilloma virus, HPV is extremely common these days. It is a virus which has over 80 different strains, and can cause warts to surface anywhere on the body.
HPV affects up to 6 million new people each year in the US. This number is even higher than the infection rate of HIV aids. At least 50% of sexually active men and woman acquire HPV in their lifetime! The human papilloma virus has an incubation time of a few weeks, to a few months, and sometimes as long as a year.
This means that there are many carriers of the Human Papilloma virus, who do not actually have any visible or noticeable warts. About 30 strains of HPV are associated with venereal warts / genital warts. These warts are found in and around the anus, vagina and penis.
Other strains include common warts, body warts, plantar warts (these are found under your feet and can be very painful), flat warts.
When any of these warts are found, it is important to seek a treatment or remedy straight away.
Choose a natural remedy, which is designed to penetrate right down to the root of the wart. The wart is then drawn out from the root upwards and will flake away by itself. This method ensures that the entire wart is removed and will never grow back. It is also a method which leaves no scarring. Trace elements of the formula are also absorbed into the system in order to target the HPV virus inside the body.
What formulas provide that level of wart and HPV treatment?
A pure blend of essential oils extracted from plants, specifically formulated for safe, effective wart removal.
The formula is very easy to use. Simply apply topically to the warts. Due to its concentration, the formula will counteract the warts virus effectively, with only a small amount per application.
How long does it take for the formula to eliminate warts?
Healing time differs from person to person, and depending on the strain of the virus (there are over 80 strains), your immune system and how consistently the formula is applied, healing normally takes 2-6 weeks.
A highly recommended company who have been in business for many years are Healing Natural Oils or amoils.com They have formulas for
HPV and Warts, Hemorrhoids, herpes, cold sores, genital warts, shingles treatments
In summary, there is no certain cure for the hPV virus which causes warts, but if correct treatment methods are used, the warts will be effectively removed, with no scarring, and you are also guaranteed that the same warts never grow back.
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For a few men the arrival of middle age brings with it increasing urinary difficulty caused by an enlargement of the prostate gland. Instances of urinary difficulty increase with age so that by the time that most men reach retirement there's a better than 50/50 change they'll be experiencing difficulties and, if they're lucky enough to reach the age of 80, then they'll almost certainly run into difficulty as prostate problems affect about 90% of the male population by this age.
While enlargement of the prostate is extremely common it is also a benign condition that is confined to the prostate gland and for many men it will develop very slowly over a period of years. There are a variety of symptoms, almost all associated with problems in passing water, and these can range from the quite mild which are really not too bothersome and which you can certainly live with as just another sign of the ageing process, to more severe symptoms which are sufficiently annoying to warrant treatment.
In addition to the common problem of an enlarged prostate, which will affect almost all men at some point, a significant number of men will also develop prostate cancer which, while it starts life in the prostate gland, can eventually spread throughout the body and is an extremely dangerous condition and the second most common form of cancer death in the United States today.
An enlarged prostate and prostate cancer are two quite separate conditions and, despite what you may have heard, an enlarged prostate does not cause prostate cancer. The two conditions can however exist side-by-side and one problem with prostate cancer is that the symptoms of an enlarged prostate can mask the presence of a growing cancer.
The first step therefore is to call in and see your doctor as soon as you start to experience any sort of problems passing water and get him to establish the root of the problem.
If you consult your doctor at the first sign of trouble and he diagnoses prostate cancer then it is very likely to be at early stage of development and confined to the prostate gland, in which case your doctor will almost certainly suggest prostate surgery. In this particular case, unless there is a very good reason why you should not have surgery (such as the presence of other medical conditions that you place you at risk from surgery) then the answer to whether or not you should have prostate surgery is invariably going to be "yes".
There can be no question that the best way to deal with cancer is to remove it altogether and, when it is confined to the prostate gland, the easiest and best way to do that is to have it surgically removed.
If, however, your doctor diagnoses nothing more than an enlarged prostate the question of whether or not you should have surgery become a bit more complicated and you will need to discuss your options with your doctor.
There are a range of treatments available for an enlarged prostate including drug therapy and non-surgical treatments, as well as several different surgical treatments and each has its own advantages, disadvantage and risks.
The major difference in the case of an enlarged prostate is that the vast majority of treatments are not designed to cure the problem but are aimed at reducing symptoms so that it does not unduly interfere with your quality of life.
The question of whether or not you should have prostate surgery is very much dependent upon the cause of your problems. If you have prostate cancer and prostate surgery is the recommended option then, unless there is a good reason for deciding otherwise, you should almost certainly accept your doctor's recommendation. If, however, prostate surgery is being considered for an enlarged prostate, then there will be a range of other options open to you and you will need to make a very personal decision, in consultation with your doctor, about whether or not prostate surgery is the choice you feel would be most appropriate.
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The most exciting event in Slovenia last week was when a group of young army recruits spat on the national flag and sang the anthem of the now defunct former Yugoslavia. They were sent to a military psychiatrist for observation. Indeed, economically speaking, a preference for any other part of the late Federation over Slovenia would indicate mental deformity.
Slovenia is by far the most prosperous and pacific of the lot. Income per capita increased by 7% between 1995-2000 and reached 75% of the EU's average. Yugoslavia and Macedonia would require half a century to reach this level at current growth rates. Slovenia's public debt is negligible (c. 26% of GDP), its unemployment rate is almost American (less than 7%), its budget deficit a mere 1.4% of GDP. Slovenia's gross national savings is almost a quarter of its GDP - as is its gross domestic investment (28%).
It is a respected member of both the World Bank and the IMF. The former has disbursed c. $250 million for purposes such as structural reforms and environmental cleanups. The latter praises its monetary targeting, the managed float of its tolar, and the lack of major (budget and current account) imbalances. This, despite erratic monetary management by the Bank of Slovenia, which, together with the introduction of VAT, the oil price shock, and a totally CPI-indexed financial environment, led to escalating inflation (c. 9% annually, up from 6%).
Thus, should Slovenian officials fail in their efforts to secure agricultural and regional development concessions from their counterparts in Brussels, Slovenia runs the risk of becoming a net creditor of the EU. Slovenia, contrary to most other current members, is openly unhappy with the "Big Bang" enlargement of the Union. It has successfully concluded 22 out 29 chapters to be agreed with the EU prior to accession and it is afraid of being held back by an unrealistic, politically motivated, process of enlargement which will stress the EU's deficient institutions to their breaking point.
Slovenia is small. It is the size of pre-1967 Israel or New Jersey. With less than 2 million citizens (88% of which are ethnic Slovene), its population grows by a paltry 0.14% p.a. Still, had it not constituted the northern boundary of a war prone and unstable region, Slovenia might have attracted more FDI (it has one of the lowest rates among the candidate countries), bordering as it does and integrated as it is with the (relatively) large and disinflated economies of Italy, Hungary, and Austria. Many Slovenes actually live in Jorg Haider's part of Austria (Carinthia). Italians owned property (confiscated by the communists) in Slovenia before the Second World War (the source of a simmering grudge in Italy). Italians, Austrians, and Germans invest in Slovenian banks, insurance companies, and industry. Together with Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic (among others), it is a member of the now reawakened CEFTA (Central European Free Trade Agreement). Only 4% of Slovenia's GDP derives from agriculture (vs. 61% from services). Still, Slovenia, to its great ire, is often associated with the Balkan.
But the bad neighborhood is not the only obstacle. Slovenia's privatization was as crony-infested as elsewhere in the Eastern Bloc and its legislation still incorporates investment-deterring anachronisms (restricted land and media ownership, an over-regulated labour market, lack of corporate governance). Capital account liberalization was implemented only recently. Close to half of the economy (including a chunk of the favoritism-ridden and inefficient banking system) is in the hands of the state. The private sector, though, is thriving. Growth rates (4% this year) are double the European average and GDP per capita is almost equal to Greece's or Portugal's.
Slovenia's international trade amounts to 60% of its GDP. Two thirds of it is with the EU (half of this with Germany and Austria, the former colonial mater). Its trade with Russia, the USA (3% of the total each), and even with other republics of the disintegrated Yugoslavia is marginal. It still purchases raw materials from Macedonia and Yugoslavia - and sells back to them the finished products (as it used to do in former Yugoslavia). But this does not amount to much. The decoupling is intentional - Slovenia considers itself an integral part of Western Europe. All it inherited from Communism, it feels, was polluted rivers and coastal water, acid rain, and depleted forests. Still, such exposure to the EU makes Slovenia susceptible to the Union's business cycles. Shortsightedly perhaps, it does not have a trade representation or an economic attaché in the USA.
Of all its erstwhile confederates, Slovenia maintains tenuous political contacts only with Croatia. It just resolved a long standing dispute with Croatia regarding the Krsko nuclear power plant. Both countries agreed to continue discussions regarding the final demarcation of the hotly disputed (in Slovenia) border between the two countries as a prelude to the introduction of the Schengen agreement. Overtures are made to post-Milosevic Yugoslavia. Slovene legislation is eagerly copied by Macedonia. Gradually, albeit reluctantly, Slovenia comes to be regarded as a role model by its southern neighbors who strive to emulate its success.
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Prostate is not a problem just for elderly male population. Affecting 1 in 8 men, prostate disorders are much more common than would be expected in middle-aged individuals. The good news is that using natural treatments this battle can be a successful one.
The natural approach to prostate problems involves four steps.
Improving the blood and energy flow to the prostate region.
This flow is affected by things like low back problems, constipation, scar tissue and injury. It can be improved by massage, manipulation therapies, acupuncture and the appropriate dietary changes.
Diet targeted at improving the health of the prostate.
Soy contains natural substances which help detoxify the harmful Di-Hydro-Testosterone (DHT), thereby reducing its stimulation for cell multiplication. It's a reality that Japanese men, who eat a plenty soy diet, have very low incidences of prostate problems. Therefore, products containing a high amount of soy have been recommended as preventing prostate enlargement. Vegetables containing carotenes and red-orange fruits are also associated with low prostate cancer incidence. Finally, adequate fiber in the diet, as well as pumpkin and sunflower seeds seem to improve prostate symptoms.
Diet high in vitamins and supplements helping in prostate function.
Zinc may be cancer protective as is required to utilize carotenes. In conjunction with vitamin B6, zinc also regulates the enzyme which converts testosterone to the harmful DHT. Vitamin E helps preserve the fatty acids and they are formatted in the human body to the messenger hormone prostaglandins which control, among other, inflammation.
Use of some herbs with beneficial effects on the prostate.
Saw palmetto berries contain substances which inhibit the conversion of DOT from testosterone. By consequence, they prevent the DOT that is produced from acting on the prostate, and cools inflammation in the gland itself. Saw palmetto is effective only in extract form (tinctures, capsules) while a tea made from the berries has no action.
Saw palmetto is used extensively in US. In France and elsewhere in Europe, Pygeum africanum has been shown to work, again, by limiting the conversion of DHT and by reducing prostates enlargement and inflammation. This herb also is a mild antibiotic, which may explain its good effect in prostatitis as well as BAH.
Finally, there is a Swiss extract of Utica devoice flower pollen (Carillon) which has potent anti-inflammatory actions and is effective in prostatitis again by blocking DOT.
This type of approach may not cause any harm and it can be used as a preventive solution, but it is not a substitute for the advice of a physician or other medical professional.
