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Many men suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) -- the inability to achieve and sustain an erection long enough to have enjoyable and fulfilling sex. For a variety of reasons ED is most common in men over 45. The sex drive is often lowered even further in older men who are taking medications of various kinds. Most of us assume the sex drive gradually diminishes as we get older, so we are prepared to accept ED as a natural condition. But the fact is, the inability for many men to sustain an erection may be more the result of treatable physical conditions rather than an actual loss of sex drive. Until the early 1980s most people -- including most trained urologists -- assumed that ED was basically a mental or psychological problem. But in 1983 at a presentation to the American Urological Association, Dr. Giles Brindley demonstrated that a penis could be made erect by injecting it with the drug phentolamine. In a public demonstration, he used his own penis to make the point. Brindley had discovered that the penis could be made erect by relaxing the normally consricted blood vessels leading into it. Once the blood vessels are relaxed, they let in more blood and the penis inflates something like a balloon to form an erection. So gradually it came to be accepted that ED is the result of physical changes in the adult male -- not primarily mental or psychological conditions. Viagra - Controlling the Penile Valve Phentolamine -- the drug used by Dr. Brindley to give himself a public erection -- started to be used with some success in the 80's and 90's, but there are two problems with phentolamine. First, it is not selective enough to target only the penis, so its effects on other parts of the body are unpredictable. And second, the erections it creates are not brought on by sexual stimulation. You can get an erection any old time with phentolamine, and you will continue to have one until the effect of the drug wears off. Viagra was the first drug that overcame these two problems. (It was introduced in 1998 by the Pfizer company. The active ingredient in Viagra is sildenafil citrate.) Viagra does not work by relaxing the blood vessels of the penis. Instead it enhances the natural processes that take place when a man is sexually stimulated. It does this by controlling what we might call the "Softeners" -- the chemicals in the body designed to make the penis go soft after an erection. It works something like this. When a man is sexually stimulated his brain sends signals that trigger the production of chemicals that relax the blood vessels in the penis. Think of these as "Hardeners". As the blood vessels are relaxed by the production of Hardeners, blood flow increases and the penis goes erect. But nature has also designed a way for the erection to gradually subside. At the same time as Hardeners are being produced to relax the blood vessels, the body is also producing Softeners to break down and neutralize the Hardeners. These are an enzyme known as phosphodiesterase (PDE5). As long as the sexually stimulated male is producing more Hardeners than Softeners, the penis will remain erect. But as soon as the production of Hardeners starts to go down, the Softeners will get the upper hand, and the erection will start to fizzle. It is now generally assumed that ED is caused by an imbalance of Hardeners and Softeners. The body is either not producing enough Hardeners, or too many Softeners. Either way, the result is the inability to sustain an erection. What Viagra does is block the production of Softeners. This allows the Hardeners to build up in the blood vessels of the penis and create hard, sustained erections. The beauty of the process is that nothing happens without sexual stimulation. Viagra does not take the place of stimulation. Instead, it simply lets the natural chemicals created by sexual stimulation do their work. After sex, when the brain is no longer creating Hardeners, the erection subsides naturally. And when the effects of Viagra wear off -- normally after 4 or 5 hours -- the normal processes are restored to the way they were before taking the drug. Of course, as with any drug, there are potential side effects. Viagra should not be taken if you are taking any nitrate-based drug, including nitroglycerin or if you are on any blood pressure or heart medication, as combining Viagra with these drugs can cause a severe drop in blood pressure. Also, if you have any liver or kidney problems it is not recommended that you take Viagra. vimax top penis enlargement pills penis enargement surgeon top pennis enlargement pills herbal penis enhancement pills home penis enlargement vimax prosolution penis enhancement pills enlarement manhattan penis

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THE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM Intake of oxygen and removal of carbon dioxide are the primary functions of the respiratory system. The respiratory system carries out these life-sustaining acts in close coordination with the circulatory system. Most of the time, we remain blissfully unaware of these automatic functions. The respiratory organs deliver oxygen to the circulatory system. The circulatory system transports the oxygen to all body cells. Oxygen is used by cells to liberate the energy needed for cellular activities. The respiratory system also removes carbon dioxide. Thus, the circulatory system prevents the buildup of this lethal waste byproduct in the body tissues. Irreversible damage to tissues can occur if the respiratory system is halted even for a few minutes. This can cause failure of all the other body systems. The consequence is death! NOSE COMMENCES THE RESPIRATORY PROCESS The respiratory system begins from the nose. It ends in the lungs. The respiratory system is broadly divided into two parts, viz., the upper and the lower respiratory tracts. The upper respirator tract is made up of the nose and the throat (pharynx). The lower respiratory tract includes five organs. They are the voice box (larynx), and the windpipe (trachea), bronchi, bronchioles and the lungs. The trachea splits into the two branches called bronchi. The bronchi further gets divided into further smaller branches called bronchioles. The lungs are a pair of spongy saclike organs. The bronchioles, bronchi, trachea, larynx, pharynx and the nose transport air to and from the lungs. It is the lungs that interact with the circulatory system for delivering oxygen and removing carbon dioxide from the lungs. THE RESPIRATION PROCESS Respiration is a two-pronged process. It involves the respiratory and the circulatory systems. Respiration connotes the coordinated functioning whereby the cells are delivered oxygen and the lethal carbon dioxide is removed. The first phase: The nose begins the first phase of respiration. This is done with inhaling or inhalation (breathing in). The process brings in air along with oxygen from outside the body into the lungs. From the lungs, oxygen goes via the blood vessels to the heart. The heart pumps the oxygen-rich blood to all parts of the body. The first phase of respiration ends with the oxygen moving into the cells from the bloodstream. The second phase: The second phase commences after the oxygen gets into the cells. The cells use the oxygen to produce energy. This independent process is called cellular respiration. It produces the byproduct -- carbon dioxide. The accumulated carbon dioxide now moves from the cells to the bloodstream. Next, the bloodstream transports the carbon dioxide to the heart. Then, the carbon dioxide-laden blood is pumped back to the lungs. The third phase: Again the nose comes into picture during this stage. The lungs push the byproduct to the nose from where it is exhaled or breathed out. This is the final or the third stage when the body gets rid of the carbon dioxide. At the end of the third stage or the entire respiratory cycle another one starts automatically. OTHER FUNCTIONS OF THE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM The respiratory system further regulates the balance of acid and base in tissues. This balancing act is crucial for the normal functioning of cells. It protects the body against disease-causing organisms and toxic substances inhaled with air. The respiratory system also houses the cells that detect smell. Moreover, the respiratory system assists in the production of sounds for speech. THE OLFACTORY NERVE The brownish olfactory nerve is also called olfactory receptors. The olfactory nerve inside the nose is the main nerve of smell. The olfactory region is made up of thick nasal soft mucous membrane. Its brownish color is because of a pigment. The olfactory nerve ends in minute varicose fibers (several small branches). These fibers ultimately conclude in the epithelial cells. Mentionably, the epithelial cells project into the nasal free surface. The olfactory nerve is the first to know of any chemicals that may enter the nasal passages. The receptors immediately trigger off a signal to the brain. This creates the smell perception. THE ESOPHAGUS Esophagus is a muscular tube. The esophagus carries food from the throat to the stomach. The esophagus and the pharynx situated behind the mouth swallow the food and move it to the stomach. The stomach temporarily stores the food, mixes it with digestive juices, and carries out some digestion. The esophagus also holds the stomach contents in place. Actually, this function is carried out by the lower esophageal sphincter. This sphincter is a muscle. It is located at the lower end of the esophagus. THE PHARYNX The pharynx is a passageway for both air and food. The pharynx connects the nose and mouth with the windpipe (trachea) and the food pipe (esophagus). The pharynx is a muscular tube. The pharynx is located within the neck. The pharynx is lined with a mucous membrane. The pharynx is approximately five inches (13 cm) in length. The pharynx lies in the front of the spinal column. The upper portion of the pharynx is known as nasopharynx. The name arises as it begins in the back of the nasal cavity.. The lower part is oropharynx. It points to that area in the back of the mouth. The pharynx ends at the epiglottis. Epiglottis is a flap of cartilage. Epiglottis prevents food from entering the trachea. However, the epiglottis allows the food to enter the esophagus. Two eustachian tubes connect the pharynx to the middle ear. These eustachian equalizes the eardrums air pressure. The pharynx can be infected via the mouth as well as the nose. Sore throat involves pharynx infection (pharyngitis) or throat inflammation. Pharyngitis can be due to infectious mononucleosis, herpes, and viral infections. The viral infections are German measles (rubella), influenza, and common cold. It can also be caused by bacteria like staphylococcal, streptococcal, chlamydial, and diphtherial. These bacteria multiply cause sore throat by multiplying rapidly within the pharynx. Tonsils and Adenoids Among the adults the pharynx contains the tonsils, while among the children the pharynx contains the adenoids. Tonsils: Tonsils are lymphoid tissues at the back of the throat. Tonsils form a tissue ring around the pharynx or the throat. Tonsils are cells. Tonsils are similar to the bloodstream lymphocytes. Tonsils are embedded in fibrous connective tissues. Tonsils are covered by a single epithelium layer. The lymphoid cells are phagocytic. The cells protect the pharynx from bacteria that can cause diseases. Tonsils may become inflamed and chronically or acutely infected. This condition is called tonsillitis. It is generally caused by streptococcus infection. During tonsillitis and streptococcal, the tissues surrounding the tonsils form pus. Then a whitish coat forms over the tonsils which can appear as white specks. This state is called quinsy. When the pharyngeal tonsils become inflamed they become abnormally large. They are called adenoids. Acute cases of tonsillitis are often treated by antibiotics like penicillin. Chronic recurrent tonsillitis may be treated by tonsillectomy (surgical removal of the tonsils). Adenoids: Adenoids are lymphoid tissue at the back of the throat. Adenoids usually shrink and disappear by adolescence. Enlargement of this tissue is common among children. Such a state can interfere with breathing. Symptoms of enlarged adenoids include restless sleep, snoring, breathing via mouth, and a nasal voice. Earlier, these tissues were removed in children. It was thought that inflamed adenoids led to recurrent colds and infections. Nowadays, this condition is recognized as benign. As a result, there are lesser adenoidectomies. THE LARYNX From the pharynx, the inhaled air moves to the larynx. The larynx is about five inches (13 cm) in length. The larynx is located in the central part of the neck. The larynx is made up of several layers of flexible but tough cartilage, a tissue. Mentionably, during puberty the males experience a protrusion of the cartilage. This enlarged prominent extension at the neck is called the Adam’s apple. FUNCTIONS OF THE LARYNX The larynx primarily transports air to the wind pipe (trachea). Besides, the larynx also helps in producing the sounds. The epiglottis -- a leaflike thin tissue portion of the larynx -- further prevents the food from entering the trachea (thus obviating the possibility of choking). Moreover, the cilia cells as well as the mucous membrane of the larynx also filter air. The cilia cells take the airborne substances towards the pharynx where they are swallowed. The epiglottis: The epiglottis stem is attached to the top and the front portions of the larynx. When the epiglottis remains in a vertical position, it acts like a trap door. This happens during the breathing process. But as a person starts swallowing, a reflexive action forces the epiglottis and the larynx to move near each other toward each other. This coming closer of the epiglottis and the larynx forms a protective seal. As a result, the fluids and food are specifically sent towards the food pipe (esophagus). When the reflexive action doesn’t work: What happens when the reflexive action doesn’t function is that the food can enter the larynx. This happens when one eats the meal fats or when one laughs while swallowing. The result is that there will be a recurrent cough impelled choking effect. At times this apparently simple choking effect can even be life-threatening. The cough is the body’s reflexive action to clear the larynx of the impediment. Whenever such choking takes place, someone must thump the back portion between the shoulder blades several times. This will help the person to get over the choking effect. The Heimlich maneuver: The Heimlich maneuver clears the windpipe of obstructions like food or fluid. The first-aid providing person applies thrusts in quick and in upward motion at the patient’s abdomen. The objective is to expel the object stuck at the trachea (windpipe). Standing behind the victim, the person keeps both his arms across the patient’s waist. Then, he places the fist of one hand below the rib cage and a bit above the navel. All the while, he keeps the thumb against the patient’s body. He uses the other hand for holding the fist and for applying pressure. Next, he puts quick pressure on the abdomen. The pressure is put in an inward and an upward motion. This fast recurrent action forces the lung air to get rid of the substance blocking the windpipe. However, in cases where the patient cannot stand still, is overweight, faints following the choking effect, the Heimlich maneuver is done in a different manner. The patient is made to lie face down. The first-aid provider carries on the process with the heel of a hand. Important: Nonetheless, it is important that the person does not put undue pressure on the rib cage. This is especially true when the patient is a child or an elderly person. Too much pressure can break ribs. Pertaining to pregnant woman or overweight people, the first-aid provider must place his hands only on the lower half of the breastbone (sternum) while carrying out the maneuver. In acute choking, tracheotomy (a surgical procedure) is undertaken to carry out bypass of the larynx. This operation brings in air to the trachea. TRACHEA, BRONCHI, AND BRONCHIOLES The trachea is another tube measuring approximately six inches (15 cm). The trachea is located below the larynx. From the larynx the air passes on to the trachea. About 20 sturdy C-shaped cartilage rings constitute the trachea. These rings help to keep the trachea open. In the process, air gets transported unhindered. While the unfastened cartilage is located at the trachea’s back portion, their ends are linked to each other by muscle tissues. Bronchi & bronchioles: The trachea base is situated at the portion where the neck meets the body trunk. At this juncture, the trachea splits into the right and the left bronchi. These bronchi transport air to the right and left lungs respectively. Inside the lungs, these bronchi again break up into smaller tubes -- the bronchioles. In fact, the respiratory system’s cleansing process is carried out by those bronchioles that are situated at the initial part, bronchi, and the trachea. These organs carry out the cleansing process via the mucous membrane linings as well as the ciliated cells. These cilia and the lining push the mucus upward towards the pharynx. Alveoli & capillaries: Alveoli are minute sacs inside the lungs. Most of the alveoli are lung tissues. Alveoli are formed by the bronchioles as they divide several times. The alveoli along with the bronchioles resemble a tree. The alveoli are only 0.02 inches (0.5 mm) in diameter. There are about 150 million alveoli in each lung. The alveoli carry out a dual function. While providing oxygen to the circulatory system, they also remove carbon dioxide from the lungs. The thin elastic alveoli walls expand when air moves into them. The walls collapse to exhale the air. The alveoli remain in clusters like the grapes. Each cluster is surrounded by capillaries. The capillaries are thin-walled and form a dense net of tiny hairs. The alveoli wall air is generally located 0.2 microns away from the blood carried by the capillary. Mentionably, the alveoli have more oxygen concentration then the capillaries. So, oxygen disseminates to capillaries from alveoli. Through the capillaries, oxygen goes to the larger vessels. These vessels then transport the oxygenated blood to the heart. Next, the heart pumps the cleaned blood to the other parts of the body. Macrophages: Among the alveoli are interspersed many macrophages. The macrophages are blood cells. These large white cells act as the last sentinels of the respiratory system among the alveoli. The macrophages segregate the foreign elements which may have passed through the earlier filtration process. This last line of defense ensures that the alveoli are not infected. Carbon dioxide disposal: The cells from across the body dump Carbon dioxide as a waste product. It is dumped in the bloodstream. The blood carries Carbon dioxide into the heart. From the heart, the Carbon dioxide moves to the alveolar capillaries. Notably, the capillaries have more concentration of carbon dioxide than the alveoli. So, carbon dioxide gets diffused into the alveoli from the capillaries. 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Crohn's disease is characterized by chronic inflammation of the colon. Most patients also experience abdominal pain and weight loss. The treatment for Crohn’s disease is similar to that of ulcerative colitis in the sense that it can be treated with sulfasalazine, mesalamine preparations, glucocorticoids and 6 mercaptopurine. Antibiotics such as Ciprofloxacin and Metronidazole can also be effective for the complications that come along with Crohn’s disease. Metronidazole is very useful in treating fitulous disease in some patients. The origin of Crohn’s disease is still a mystery in the medical world, however some researchers believe that overeating, chemical poisoning, bacterial and a lack of response by your own immune system may all be connected to Crohn’s disease. Crohn’s disease can often be confused with regional ileitis, which is also a severe, progressive, inflammatory disease of the bowel. Its symptoms include diarrhea with pain. Bowel movements usually contain blood, mucus and pus, brought on by the infection. What makes Crohn’s different is that it can affect any part of the gastrointestinal tract and does not necessarily involve constant unhealthy bowel movements, sometimes bowel movements are regular, other time they are not. No symptoms are noticeable when your Crohn’s is in remission. In fact, most patients in remission may think that they are healed. But the truth of the matter is that there is still chance for the disease to reoccur, unless you take all necessary precautions and pay close attention to your health. If surgery becomes necessary for Crohn’s your disease, you can rest assured it is a well tolerated, reasonably safe procedure, with an operative mortality rate of only 6%. Since diarrhea is one of the main symptoms of Crohn’s disease, it’s not unusual for patients to have some fissures, fistulas or thickening of the anal skin. The skin may also become swollen and discolored around the anus. Crohn’s can also bring about biochemical disturbances in the liver. Many patients hat exhibit this symptom have a family history of allergies that includes hives and asthma. Additional symptoms can include enlargement of the ends of the fingers (called clubbing), thrush in the mouth, lesions in the eyes and arthritis that effects the large joints. Even today there is no effective cure for Crohn’s disease. Although the disease may exhibit relatively mild symptoms, it still can interfere with work and your personal life. Medications that treat the disease can sometimes end up causing other problems. Many Crohn’s patients were found to be eating a similar diet — lots of refined sugars, less dietary fiber, less raw fruits and vegetables. The trouble is that sugary foods tend to contain chemical additives that influence intestinal bacteria, causing them to produce toxic substances that end up, over time, destroying the intestinal lining. This is the reason sugary foods should be avoided (or limited) by Crohn’s patients. Seasonings as well as cold liquid are also not well tolerated. It’s also common for a milk sugar mal-absorption to cause milk intolerance in most Crohn’s patients. Crohn’s disease is also believed to be responsible for providing favorable conditions where substances that produce allergic reaction can develop, especially if the Crohn’s has penetrated the lining of the bowel. If you suspect you have Crohn’s disease, you should first consult your primary care physician before taking other steps. Careful diagnosis and monitoring are the key to living comfortably with Crohn’s. compare penis enlargment pills vimax penis enlargement surgery photo penis enlargement cream vimax free penis enlargement pills penis enargement technique vig rx results natural penis enlargment technique penis enargement technique penis enlargment pills

Breast implants vary in several different ways: · Filling · Shape · Texture Once you have chosen to have a breast augmentation surgery, you must also decide what type of implant will suit your needs best. To help you with this decision, the plastic surgeon, like Dr. Hendricks in Newport Beach, CA, will work closely with you. Although the decision to undergo breast enhancement surgery is very personal, your plastic surgeon can provide you with much needed help when making various breast augmentation choices. “I provide high-quality, compassionate care to all my patients,” says Dr. Douglas Hendricks, “using scientifically proven, modern breast enhancement techniques, I help my patients achieve their goals of achieving youthful, healthy, vibrant appearances.” All available breast implants have at least two things in common: a shell and a filling material. Breast implant shells are made of silicone elastomer, with the exception of polypropylene implants, which are silicone free. Although you may have heard about saline and silicone breast implants, the difference between the two is the material used to fill the silicone elastomer shell. · Saline Breast Implants – are filled with a sterile saltwater solution; much like what you would receive to treat dehydration in the hospital. · Silicone Breast Implants – are pre-filled with a silicone gel. Saline breast implants are not only completely safe, but they are also the most common form of breast implant. If they were to rupture, the body has no difficulty absorbing the solution because saline breast implants contain just a sterile saltwater solution. Silicone breast implants contain a silicone gel, and they are pre-filled so that chances of allowing the silicone gel enter the body while performing the breast enhancement surgery is much lessened. Also, the incision made during breast enhancement surgery with silicone breast implants is larger; to accommodate the size of the pre filled implant. Saline breast implants can also be selected either pre-filled or filled after being placed. The incision made for breast enlargement surgery with an empty breast implant is much smaller because the breast implant is filled after the surgery is complete. Silicone breast implants are now being filled with a cohesive gel. This means that if the implant were to rupture, the gel sticks to itself, like bread dough. At the moment, saline implants are widely available, while silicone implants can only be placed through plastic surgeons participating in cohesive gel silicone breast implant surveys. Saline breast implants, however, are available in different shapes and textures. Anatomical, or contoured implants and traditional, or round, implants can both be used to give a breast augmentation surgery patient the results they are looking for. · Contoured Breast Implants – are shaped like a teardrop, and were originally developed for women who needed breast reconstruction. · Round Breast Implants – are more common, and can move freely inside the pocket made by the plastic surgeon behind the breast. Although round breast implants almost always take the shape of a teardrop after the healing process has completed, some women prefer contoured breast implants because they mimic the natural shape of the breast. Round breast implants are shaped like a globe; after they’ve been placed, they can rotate within the breast pocket created by the plastic surgeon, without distorting the shape of the breast. There are also differences in the surgeries involving round or contoured breast implants. 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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say. It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened. “Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!” Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet. “Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.” My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me. “Don’t think so.” I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible. “Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.” I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level. “Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.” “You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.” It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick. “Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.” My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged. “Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled. I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on. “Parker? Are you talking to me?” “Well I’m not talking to myself.” I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned. “This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.” “Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …” “You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously. “Should you want I bow wow?” “Holy cow! Parker you are talking.” “Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …” “I can’t believe this.” “Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.” I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued. “I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Afraid not.” Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own. “Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?” “Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.” “You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?” “Four hundred.” “Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.” “Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?” “Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.” “That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?” “Yeah.” “She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.” “You are kidding me?” “She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.” “Why?” “Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.” “You know this from the smell of possum poop?” “Excrement.” “Whatever.” “Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?” “Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …” “Penis?” “Well, yeah.” “Jealous are we?” “Well, it’s just that …” “It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.” “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.” “No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.” “No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.” “You done? Can I get to my concern?” “Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.” “How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?” “You mean global warming?” “It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.” “Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.” “We don’t know dramatic.” “Well give me examples of what you mean.” “First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.” “I don’t smell a thing.” “Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.” “Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?” “We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.” “ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?” “Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.” “Oh yeah, like what else?” “Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.” “What?” “You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized. An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.” “Can you give me a for instance?” “God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.” “Well, I don’t know what to say.” “You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.” “This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.” “In a nut shell, yeah.” It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping. “That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.” “What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically. “You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.” “Then what, already?” I asked impatiently. “You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.” “Ummm … yeah I guess.” “Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!” “All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.” “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” “So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.” “It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking. “Parker?” Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket. “Parker … are you done? Is that it?” He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep. “Parker … just like that?” He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined. “Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.” I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days.